July 5 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Belonging (mc ff) (new)  by If I Was Not You
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

I came up with an MC story involving colonists on an alien world, but was never able to finish it. Instead, I just used the useable elements of it elsewhere. Anyway, those Green Day lyrics come from the only one of their catalogue that I continue to like, the rest of their music never impressing me. As an observation, it is an interesting choice to use a single instead of double quote for dialogue. Not a big deal, just interesting. The writing felt a little unnatural, but overall readable. Something about the start of this seemed a little harsh, and hard to believe. An orphanage is willing to spend the time on pushing multiple check ups in the span of a week, but gives no apparent aid in getting Eva a job? Were there really no other options other than homelessness? Maybe I don’t know orphanages, but forcing someone that just turned 18 to be a colonist on another world without warning or viable alternatives seems utterly ridiculous! Overall, I think this needed another good edit and maybe rethinking. There are some interesting themes here, but the overall presentation wasn’t the strongest.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

The Mind Control Powers Of One Cassandra Wentworth (mc ff in gr la rb) (new)  by Steven Bachman
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Hopefully a long winded title is a good sign! Some minor punctuation errors or at least arguable oddities (not exactly perfect myself!), but overall readable. Still, there was nothing for me to like here. Maybe I was skimming fairly early, but our heroine here just did awful things without any real reason or point to it. And a pizza delivery leading to sex? Really? :P Just a story for those into the making of sex slaves without anything else.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
Aftereffects (mc mm) (new)  by webb025
~~2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)~~

Every so often I try to review an MM story. Thus far, there haven’t been any winners. Anyway, I overlooked how the title should technically be two words, because I assumed it had something to do with the story. Anyway, starts on a negative note for me, and that is something I never like. I can’t be made to feel sorry for someone that got fired just before sentence one. This does loosely remind me of a band teacher I knew that got fired for the rumored reason of watching porn on his school computer. Of course, while certainly eccentric, he never MC’ed anyone to my knowledge!  The story itself was difficult to get into. I guess I just don’t know what real MM attraction is like. :-\ Sure, I have a friend that happens to be gay, but sexuality is never directly on the radar. Narratively, in my opinion, there’s often just too much attraction and sex in these stories, and not mush story. Equally, too much FF and MF sex is not necessarily that great either narratively. There is an interesting story hiding in here, it just got lost …
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
Sure, I’ll read or write a piece of erotica for the heat, but I always consider having a story beyond that important. There’s something about a woman choosing to be transformed for her own or another’s reason that can be so much hotter to me than a vampire roaming around just to fuck and suck.

Roleplaying in the Amazon!

Rolplaying is now also available at Amazon for their Kindle! As it is on Smashwords, this Unbound Story is free.

Having worked out smoothly, the following stories will appear on Amazon in the near future:

The Demoniac Method (An Unbound Story)
The Darkness Inside 
(An Unbound Story)
The Tome of Passions (Individual Books I-VII)
The Tome of Passions: An Anthology of Weird Erotica*

*Includes Books I-VII, Book VIII The Final Cosmic Chronicles, and an appendix; will be first published through Smashwords

Amazon distribution

In the near future, I’ll be putting the Unbound Stories (aka Blog Unbound at Smashwords) on Amazon, and then move on to the Tome of Passions. After some thought, Blog Flash Compendia will remain exclusive to Smashwords. Regardless, all free titles will ultimately continue as such; however, Amazon adds a level of red tape to that, not being a standard option. The ebooks needs to be free elsewhere, as they are. The process may take a while. I will not advertise their existence there until the stories are set to $0.

In other news, it’s going to be a busy month for me, but things should pick up again here by August!

June 21 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Evilena Sounds a Note (mc ff) (new)  by Mistress Evilena’s Servant
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

I haven’t read any of the Evilena stories, so the real question, at least narratively, is if this stands well on its own. There are definitely some grammatical and punctuation errors, which could have been rectified in an extra edit, but it was still readable. The writing seemed to suggest an underlying excitement that was lost on me. Is our protagonist meant to be a kind of folk hero? Ultimately, I had trouble seeing the point in this Evilena’s actions of taking control of a music teacher. I guess she’s meant to be “evil” but still. I mean, power corrupts, sure, but she’s only a teenager here … For those looking for stories about people suddenly being hypnotized, this is your thing. Hypnosis in and of itself isn’t really my thing. As for the first question, evidence suggests that this does not work very well without knowledge of the other stories in the series.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

The Neuro-Device (mc ff) (new)  by If I Was Not You
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

Throwing in backstory right at the start is a mixed bag. I do it sometimes, but there typically isn’t any strong drama in it. I don’t really care about a character I just met breaking up with someone before the start of a story. The drama of it isn’t really pushed, so I’m ultimately neutral on having the backstory so early here. As a side note, I find it to be an interesting and uncommon style choice to use a single instead of a double quote for dialogue. Not a negative, just an observation. Though I’ve seen the techno themes here presented far more elaborately, it is still an interesting theme to utilize. Not really my thing, while not implemented as well it should have, but there is an interesting story hiding in there.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
The Choice (Curse Master W) (mc ff) (new)  by Curse Master W
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~

The pure concept of choice is an interesting one, and not utilized much in MC erotica. Anyway, kinda heavy handed at the start, while that was almost superfluous to the rest of the story. I’ve come to tolerate more informal writing styles — it does work in its own way, but is it so hard to spell out numbers? Now, it wasn’t the writing style that didn’t really pull me into this. It all seemed kinda convenient, while I couldn’t really see a motive behind this godlike being coming down to do what it did. If this wasn’t from the perspective of said being, I could’ve overlooked that. Plus, revenge stories in the MC arena rarely pull me in anyway :-\ Just didn’t mesh with me.

RANDOM COMMENTS
Someone’s gotta think up a good story with both erotic mc and time travel…